“House of Energy” is set in big letters on the sign before we walk in.
It was one of our first dates and Tim had invited me to Toronto to visit him and check out a couple of local places he spotted while cycling through the city.
We had just come from Saigon Lotus which is a vegan Vietnamese food joint on St. Andrew Street; I was amazed at how he navigated the city and plucked out gems for us to enjoy together.
I was testing the universe when I met him and playing around with my newfound understanding of the way energy works.
Mom had died about a year earlier and my new journey was in its beginning stages.
A twist of fate saw us working together; I was a rotating apprentice and he was a seasoned trade specialist in the area of the plant I was moved to.
We started to see each other soon after I rotated out of the area.
Meeting him was pivotal; I was becoming spiritual conduit only it was like meeting him had caused all of the white noise in my connection to cease.
He is the copper wire which improved my transmission; for the first time in my life I entered into a relationship as a whole person connecting with another whole person instead of two halves trying to find completeness in the other.
I was falling in love after learning to love myself authentically.
Dancing in the hot summer sun to music at Electric Island at Hanlan’s Point, Tim set my heart ablaze as I opened myself up to him fully for the first time; and we both just knew.
When I delivered Mom’s eulogy I had mentioned that she found Dad to mirror her bright soul and I felt like I had found my own true love even though I was in disbelief that it actually happened.
Life doesn’t end when the body dies.
Life is beyond the body.
It can be extremely difficult to explain this to people; especially rational ones who have lived their entire lives thinking that otherworldly anything is either religious or for the insane.
Instead of trying to explain how energy works (I can’t) I can only offer my experiences as an example of what can happen to a person who trusts in divine timing and energy work; “past me” wouldn’t have believed you if you told me that this would be my future.
It has been a wonderful and challenging experience to hold faith in spirituality but I think the most difficult aspect of being able to “talk” with energy is that it is extremely hard to explain to other people without looking crazy.
It doesn’t matter that I have a university degree and a college diploma with a fantastic career in the skilled trades, people will still think I am insane because of who they are and not who I am – which was a hard fact to digest at first.
I can scream it from the rooftops that we don’t actually die but who cares lol people are incredibly stubborn in their preconceptions especially as they age.
The best thing I can do is relate to you what my magic has done and to encourage you to find what works for you in order to lead the most amazing life possible for you — it might not happen this way but following your intuition will make it happen your way.
After mom died, I was happy and healing and developing my consciousness and intuition but I had accepted the sad reality that I may never be “seen” fully by another person again.
Friends and family knew parts of me but not like the way she did; and when Tim looked into my eyes for the first time I felt like he had stripped me all the way down to my soul.
He felt like home and we were drawn together like magnets of opposite polarization.
“Those spring rolls were so good!”
Tim exclaims happily as we spill out onto the busy sidewalk and head down toward Spadina; it’s time for some Krispy Kreme coffee and a doughnut dessert before we shop around.
When I was studying in university I’d travel to Toronto on my days off and wander around because I loved the big city that was only a short drive from my home in Hamilton.
I would look at the buildings and wonder about the people who lived in them and fantasize about their big city lives and dreams.
And then one day I’m living on the twentieth floor of our condo at City Place looking out towards the city as I drink my morning coffee on the balcony.
That balcony was the first place I talked to my unborn daughter upon discovering I was pregnant.
“It’s a metaphysical shop and I think you’re going to love it!”
Tim says, as he takes my hand…the one without the coffee in it.
We walk up the steps and it smells accurate; heavy incense with the soft meditative Tibetan bowl music floating around in the background.
As I start to look around at all of the beautiful candles and crystals, I’m drawn to a shelf lined with tarot and oracle sets.
Spirit had led me this far and I wasn’t about to back down from a challenge so I picked up the Universal Tarot: Professional Edition and walked out with my first divination tool.
“Ah, shit. That’s a big deck and a lot to know.”
At first I found tarot overwhelming and thought I had made a mistake so I put it away when I started to get frustrated only to pick it up while on maternity leave with our daughter less than a year later.
Slowly I accumulated knowledge by pulling one or two cards a day and trying to get to know them a little better.
I purchased The Dream Raven Tarot after I had Mila and I wrote keywords on them in permanent marker so that I could learn easier; my second deck was exactly what I needed to continue on my divination path.
At the same time that my intuition was developing and I was beginning to honor my new path as a medium I was starting to notice that there was a shift in the way I was in public and at work.
At work I was thriving because I was no longer afraid of public speaking and my network grew as I opened up and began asking tons of questions without fear of embarrassing myself.
In social environments like the mall or shopping I became extremely anxious and sometimes I would feel as though my chest was being crushed so I’d have to retreat back home.
It took a while to realize that I was becoming very sensitive to the energies in any environment and now I had to take measures to protect myself before going out.
I have since learned techniques to calm myself down if I become suddenly overwhelmed while out.
Tim knows my limitations and there have been opportunities that I have had to say no to because of anxiety, but to have someone respect my choices was invaluable to me; there’s nothing worse than feeling pressured or forced into a place or situation that you don’t want to be in to begin with.
“Can you order me the Rider-Waite Tarot Deck off of Amazon, please?”
This deck was the smallest one I’d purchased and it fit perfectly into my little hands.
As I shuffled it for the first time, all I could think of was playing cards with my grandmother; a sign that she was with me for this choice and I thanked her for it.
My personal altar is filled with crystals and trinkets from our exploration of Toronto as well as all of my tarot decks, a reminder of where I started and to appreciate how far I’ve come.
Now my Amenti Oracle deck that I purchased to compliment my tarot readings sits beside its tarot brethren on my sacred altar in our family home.
It took me a couple of years to become comfortable reading for other people and I was extremely nervous when I did it for the first time.
I’d only ever read for myself and when I received the initial feedback from people my mind was blown that what seemed like a bunch of nonsense spewing from my fingers actually meant something to people.
The skeptic in me didn’t completely die when Mom did so even when I was discovering energy conversation but to have strangers validate that the messages were indeed real really helped grow my confidence as a reader, hence themindfulmillwright.com was born.
What I appreciate most is that I can enjoy my career with a financially sound income so I do not have to place financial stress on myself trying to create a business in reading for other people.
At first I thought maybe I was destined to be a Medium but I understand the place I hold within the land of the skilled trades as a drop of Divine Feminine swimming in a sea of Divine Masculine; I honor my place here.
I just want to help other people as a translator, not everyone speaks Spirit.
When asked about my journey I always say that things that are worthwhile take time and patience; learning metaphysics or developing my career in the skilled trades didn’t happen overnight but only after a lot of trial and error and falling down to get right back up.
“Why don’t you start a YouTube channel?”
Tim asked me that one day while we were watching one of our favorite channels called Chonnyday which features a gorgeous travelling couple (Chon and Delana) who are hilarious and who feel real as they explore countries such as Vietnam, Thailand and Japan.
Initially I thought it would be a great way to showcase my healing.
He even went and found a camera to film but I found it extremely difficult to coordinate or create a good video while suffering from anxiety and trying to manage a toddler lol.
But I liked the idea and thought it would make a really good addition to “The Mindful Millwright” as a way to showcase myself as a little more relaxed in contrast to some of the more serious topics, like suicide, that I talk about on here.
So I will be going forward with a “video podcast” of sorts and look forward to sharing my channel with you after I create a nice introductory video to get the ball rolling in that department; I want to talk about restaurants and experiences both locally in Hamilton to our ventures in Toronto and more!
The whole reason I created this website was to connect with you and I’m very excited going forward; Spirit is showing me some wild dreams and I’m more than happy to unravel them in due time.
Until next time, my friend.
Kaila A. Notto
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