To Know

What is it like?
To experience depression?

To have anxiety?
Or PTSD?

It is to know better.

To know that some days will be hard.
To know that there will be new fears to overcome.

To know that some days will be easier than others.
To know that some days I will be happy.

To know that some days I will want to escape.
To know that some days I must hang on.

To know that most days I will thrive.
To know that one day I may succeed.

To know that the flashbacks aren’t real.
To know that the nightmares are over.

To know that some experiences are difficult.
To know that some days I will be sad.

To know that it is all in my brain structure.
To know that it remains encapsulated in my memory.

To know that some things will trigger it.
To know that I must stay in bed on those days.

To know that those days in bed will heal me.
To know that perhaps tomorrow I will get out of bed.

To know that some people love me.
To know that some people don’t like me.

To know all about the ups.
To know all about the downs.

To know how addictive fear is.
To know how addictive healing is.

To know that I do not know enough.
To know that there’s always more to know.

To know better.

What is it like, then?
To be a tradeswoman?

To be working in industry?
With all of those men?

It is to know better.

To know that they are not all misogynists.
To know that the media makes it look worse than it is.

To know that I don’t have to give up being a girl.
To know that I will not be made fun of.

To know that they think of me as their own sister.
To know that they treat me like they would their own daughter.

To know that they are my friends.
To know that they are my mentors.

To know that they want me to succeed.
To know that some may want to see me fail.

To know that they shaped me into who I am.
To know that they gave me their strength.

To know that every man is different.
To know that it depends on the person.

To know that they are just like me.
And to know that they are vastly different.

To know better than to judge him by his looks.
To know that the big guy may be soft.

To know that the small guy may be feisty.
To know that appearance isn’t everything.

To know how to accurately use measuring tools.
To know how to gently manipulate a micrometer.

To know how to weld and to solder.
To know how to turn nuts onto bolts.

To know how to use an impact gun.
To know how to handle a 1″ drive one.

To know how to read a tape measure.
To know how to align equipment on the line.

To know what a cylinder is.
To know what a pump looks like.

To know what a motor does.
To know the difference between drive and operator side.

To know that asking for help is a must.
To know that to voice my apprehension will help.

To know that it looks scarier than it is.
To know that women can thrive in the skilled trades.

To know that I did it.
To know that you can, too.

To know better.

Kaila A. Notto

Copyright © The Mindful Millwright 2020. All Rights Reserved.

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