Mindful Millwright

Often times you’ll find me checking out a vlog on YouTube if I want to relax; I stopped watching regular television shows and movies for the most part a long time ago. I have a hard time engaging in anything that isn’t actively teaching me something so television shows and movies became much less entertaining. Thinking of wasting any time watching these things started to cause me stress so I mostly stopped altogether.

I read a lot of books but my reading habits have always been pretty regular; books were how my childhood self would escape from the outside world for a little while. And I still enjoy the odd anime show or thriller on Netflix – my husband and I enjoy a couple of select shows together and if you catch me watching a series it’s because of him and because it’s a psychological thriller – think You, The Boys and Black Mirroror anime because Japanese animation often combines themes of spirituality that draw me in like Sailor Moon did when I was a child.

YouTube channels like Abroad in Japan or Chonnyday – which I’ve mentioned in writing before – are enjoyable to me because they show people who are actively expressing life and joy and spreading education and light to others. I aspire to induce the same spark of happiness for other people; I thought starting a YouTube channel was a good addition to The Mindful Millwright family.

I’m more of a perfectionist when it comes to my writing lol. Videos and vlogging are completely outside of my comfort zone but my guides are very persistent – I’m like “Really, YouTube? I can’t do it! You see me struggling?!” And they’re like: “Yes, for Christ’s sake! For the hundredth time, child! You’ll figure it out. They can really be like that sometimes lol. My translation may sound harsher than required lol but the strength of the message felt that strongly.

I’m going to be talking more about how I listen to divine guidance within my daily life so people can actually see what it’s like to utilize Spirit as a tool for progression and stability; communicating with energy has kept me sane for over six years now. Anyone can acquire the senses required to sense Spirit and develop intuition and I use my own from the moment I wake up until I go to bed at night – they’ve kept me on board my ship during the roughest of waters.

“And although time may take us into different places I will still be patient with you. I won’t let go. I’ll be your lifeline tonight.” – Justin Bieber

Music is one way Spirit can communicate with you. That particular line was illuminated for me in a couple of different instances; the most recent being now as I write. This one comes from Mom and oddly she comes through in a lot of Bieber songs (lol) but when she was alive she used to love happy little ditties (and especially Lady Gaga) so I get it! You may be thinking “There’s no fucking way in HELL guided messages could come from Justin Bieber LMAO!” …hearing this statement as I type lol.

You may want to reconsider this limiting thought – actors, singers and celebrities share a common purpose to uplift others through art and offering music to us is a valuable gift from the heavens to us using these people as conduit. It doesn’t matter if we like the genre or person or whatever; Spirit doesn’t Keep Up With The Kardashians though the Kardashians’ guides do! – and Spirit is non-discriminatory.

It just picks the avenue that will best suit the message and recipient.

It is easier for Spiritual energy to manipulate the radio-frequency energy in the air to cause certain songs to play or assist by offering context to lyrics you’re listening to than it is to get you quiet enough inside to hear them. This is why looking into tarot, numerology and divination tools is super beneficial for those who are just starting out; these tools are available for us to hone the skills until eventually we do it without any assistance.

One day maybe my own training wheels will fall off; or perhaps they already are as I continue to write using a guided writing technique – more about that another time. If I am stuck on a decision or worry, I’ll ask my guides to “play me some guidance” and turn on either the radio or a playlist that I’m drawn to and put it on shuffle.

It took some time to figure out the difference between projecting my own thoughts into creating context towards my inquiry versus hearing divine guidance, but eventually this skill grew into something useful for me to use as a divination tool; kind of like how I use tarot to clarify messages. The body is our greatest tool but because we have grown to establish what we think it can and cannot do we are limiting ourselves significantly. It is the act of removing all preconceptions and dissolving Ego into Higher Self that allows this two-way communication to become available without interference; we can use divination tools to help us along until we get there.

The body will feel a certain way for different acts of intuition and it is your responsibility to understand how you personally are affected by your environment to utilize this knowledge to your advantage. I’ll give you a big example of how my own body works. This whole YouTube thing, for example. After I created this website I was guided towards YouTube but I thought originally it was because that’s where I had started out; I had initially given up because I had trouble uploading and editing my videos or even finding content to produce.

That was years ago and then when it popped up again recently I was like “No, no. We tried this remember? It didn’t work.” Then I brought my camera out to various places like a comic-con type event in Toronto, some local eateries and some family adventures. Each time I was wracked with anxiety filming in public or having to explain to my husband my preferences in photography which eventually became frustrating.

I threw my hands up.

But I kept feeling this gentle nudge again and again so I took it in a different direction; and now we are here. I realized I don’t have to speak when I take my camera out in public and I got pretty handy at editing using a program I purchased. It started to become a passion project as opposed to something I was dreading and I could see the value in adding video content to my website and offering people a first-hand peek into my daily life instead of just writing about it all the time!

It’s a matter of allowing things to be a little more fluid and flexible; I just kept trying different things until my intuition aligned with what I was producing. In contrast, my offering personal tarot readings came to a screeching halt whereas I thought that would be the “thing I do” to best connect with others.

I tried and tried but my clients would wait forever – some are still waiting now (so sorry!) – for a reading because I couldn’t find the time to sit and dedicate a couple of hours to a reading.

It takes me at least two hours per reading and to offer anything less than what I’d want to receive just wasn’t acceptable. So I decided to step down until I feel as though that venture can have the time it deserves…the time my clients deserve. That made me sad because I really enjoy doing them so I decided to keep a pack in my purse and do random readings when the opportunity presents itself as well as writing collective readings on here.

If I’m honest, I’ve not made a dime from my readings because I couldn’t even bring myself to charge for them. I know in the world of energy exchange that’s not desirable; a lot of my tarot-reading friends also gave me shit for not charging so I finally put my own foot down and just quit offering them until the time is right.

I think mostly I enjoyed the outside validation because I’d be scared that I was somehow making shit up because of how random yet concise the messages were; and then the person would absolutely understand what was being said during the reading which caused me to breathe a huge sigh of relief.

I’ve had issues with impostor syndrome for a while now but I’m working to overcome that; lack of perfection does not equate to having to remain silent.

There’s just too much in the world to know and we can’t know it all; I talk to myself as though I’d talk to my own child and if I start berating myself or being disrespectful I’m very quick to shut off that negative self-talk. Eventually you’ll come to know which feelings are telling you what; you’ll know when to proceed with caution and when to go full speed ahead. And the feeling for “Stop!” will be as certain as if someone were standing in front of you with a big red sign.

It just takes time and patience.

Well, I’m off to try and get my last chunk of tarot readings done before I put that venture down to make some much needed space for growth on here and at home. I want you to remember that everything you see or read on my website is the result of years of hard work, tears, blood, sweat and a hell of a lot of patience. The last thing I’d want would be for someone to see my life on video and say “Ha! She’s got the life. What’s she complaining about?”

Yes.

I have the life that I manifested through taking action on my own behalf. Great things are happening and they’re only being propelled by the work I continue to put forth; this is only the beginning. Patience, time, flexibility and the ability to accept the hard falls with the willingness to get right the hell back up will get you in a position within your own life that the self you are now can’t even fathom is possible.

I know because I did it.

And you can too.

Like my boss said in a meeting the other day: cycles will appear every now and again. In the steel manufacturing industry, we see changes in the way we operate almost once every decade.

Now that I’ve been in industry for almost (almost!) a decade I remember when I first started and hearing the older guys complain about how much things have changed and how they hated it. Now the younger generation (about a decade older than I am) are complaining about the way things are changing and the best advice I can offer is to accept the change and be as malleable as the slabs that come out of the reheat ovens; regardless of whether or not we like that things will change they always do and accepting this fact will set you in the right direction going forward with hope and to help make these changes work for us in the end.

Resistance is futile! Until next time…I’ll be back! Guess that movie!

Kaila A. Notto

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